If you watched Monday night’s game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Cleveland Browns, you might be under the mistaken impression that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger — playing in his final home game, unless he predictably reneges yet again on his reported intentions to hang it up — is beloved by all. Steelers fans wrote “THANK YOU BEN” on very large placards, proving that they had at last mastered spelling the name BEN after 18 seasons. ESPN gave him the full “This Is Your Life” treatment, complete with custom stat animations, fawning commentary, clips of Roethlisberger from days when his head wasn’t quite as fat and endless graphics of his current fat, annoying head in between every play. You might believe, given the presentation, that this night was an appropriate goodbye for one of the NFL’s greatest players.
You would be wrong, because Ben Roethlisberger sucks. God, he sucks. Just THINKING about him sucks. I wish he’d never been born.