When the Covid pandemic hit Europe in early 2020, Barbara was struggling with grief after the loss of her partner. “I had been living in France on and off since I was 18, but when my husband became ill five years ago we moved to Bordeaux, to an apartment that felt manageable,” she says. Sadly, he died shortly before lockdown, leaving Barbara alone in their home.
The president of the local residents’ group suggested she meet up with Susie, a fellow Briton who had recently moved there. Barbara, who is now 69, admits she was reluctant at first. “I didn’t want to have to explain my life to someone new,” she says. “I felt that I already had lots of friends.” Her sons told her she was “being mean” and suggested she go for a coffee to be polite to her new neighbour.
In July, she visited Susie for a socially distanced coffee. “I had also been living in France for many years,” says Susie, 56. “I told my mum I was going for a year with a French boyfriend in 1989 and never came back. I moved to the apartment complex in Bordeaux after getting divorced.” They clicked instantly and ended up chatting for hours. “We have an age difference but she seemed so young at heart,” says Susie. “I hadn’t mixed with that many English people until I met Barbara but it felt nice to speak English and share cultural references.”
Barbara says they were “amazingly frank” with each other from the very beginning. “I was grieving and Susie had recently been through a divorce so we were able to support each other. Although I’m older, we discovered our children are not that far apart in age.”
During the lockdowns, they started going for walks and spent time at each other’s apartments when they could. “It was tricky because there was a Covid curfew in place and we lived in different buildings in the complex,” says Barbara. “Now, it’s difficult to imagine a time before we were friends.”
Susie currently works as a chef and an English teacher, while Barbara is retired from her job as a maths teacher. “We have different backgrounds and friendship circles but we respect each other’s differences,” says Susie. They also share a passion for where they live. “I am still English through and through but we are both very connected to France,” says Barbara. “Neither of us have any plans to leave.”
Although Barbara moved house last year, they still see each other regularly and have been away on holiday together to Lisbon and Porto. They speak every day, and Susie says they support each other through any problems they have. “She is like a big sister to me, and we bring out the best in each other.”
When Barbara joined a dating site for a few months, her friend gave her great advice. “Everyone I know who’s been on one of those sites has a story to tell, but Susie was always there to listen,” she laughs.
Susie appreciates Barbara’s sincerity and her sense of adventure. “She is never judgmental and we never argue. I am also always impressed by the activities she does. Recently she did a treetop adventure with rope swinging, and now she’s learning to roller skate.”
Barbara loves that Susie is there for her, no matter what she decides to do. “If I’m feeling unsure about something, I know I can bounce it off Susie and she will make sense of it. I can call her any time and I know she will be discreet.”